“We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.” Have you ever seen this sign as you enter a place of business? How does it make you feel?
Do you reserve the right to act different with one person from another?
Coffee tastes the same no matter what the cup looks like on the outside. So why do we change who we are depending on the company surrounding us?
Some may call my love of coffee and the “coffeehouse” environment over-the-top. Coffee to me is community. Nothing brings people together on a cold snowy day like a cup of hot coffee, tea, or hot chocolate. It is a warmth like the sun.
The red cup and Starbucks are just my current relatable moment because it offers solace and reprieve from the walls that tend to start closing in on me in our apartment. This season is “cozy”. It is not always warm. The sounds of chatter, laughter, steaming milk from the expresso machine, and lull of voices are soothing. They inspire me.
In the house-that-will-be I strive to mimic the coffeehouse vibe. The open door to community. The comforting cup of coffee (or tea) on cold day. The lull of voices that come together to have those “save-the-world” conversations we talked about yesterday. Do I need the house to do it? Do I have to wait?
Community is constant. Or at least it should be a constant way of life. We are not built to do life alone. It is why we talk about finding our “tribe”. Changing the culture of exclusionary bands of humans takes a series of intentional, sometimes small, moments of love. It could begin by buying the guy who complains in line a cup of coffee. Returning a frown with a smile. Assuming the best instead of the worst.
Living your life like the warm cup of coffee that tastes the same no matter what the cup looks like from year to year. The vessel may change but the message is the same. Love.
Do I love all except those I have refused access? I have a right. Those kind of people, that sex, that “type” has hurt me in the past. Love anyone but them.
Love has no BUT.
Offense has a very large BUT.
Why do we carry offense based on assumptions?
Our own life experiences – good and bad, create a filter. Filters can lead to assumptions.
Assumptions lead to offense.
A few days ago, I posted about how we operate at Embrace the Crazy: against judgement, assumption, comparisons–all of them. We are not perfect … it is very difficult not to let assumptions creep in our thoughts and manifest in our decisions. It is a daily decision to ask the questions, choose to believe the good, and build opinions on fact not emotions
Whew I’m already tired.
So how does this translate to my thankfulness journey?
It is a choice. Some days I succeed better than others.
Loving those that are hard to love or that have hurt us, does not translate to full access. Boundaries are important. Choosing to not reply to that snarky post, not to air a bad situation in open or simply smiling back is a conscious decision. Sometimes it is second by second. Life is like the melting pot of a coffeehouse packed out with a myriad of people. Working groups, couples, first dates, friends, families….
Do you scowl at the couple on the first date because you just ended a relationship? Or do you send over a cup of hot coco to share?
We have choices as we move through the day to love. Small moments that we can control. Big moments will happen in the world. They will seemingly overshadow the small moments of love. Until they are outnumbered.
I am thankful for the days when the small moments of love are too numerous to remember anything else.
What moments are you thankful for today?