Friends You Can Puke On

 

For the first two years of my daughter’s life, she was sick.  We had no idea why.  Have you ever come face-to-face with a challenge with seemingly no answer? We had specialists, prayers and tests.  Those were all great.  We could not have progressed without our “team” of professionals.  However, the real help, the real progress, the real-life I-am-stuck-in-a-pit-with-no-exit help came from the support of my friends.

When my daughter was two years old she went in to surgery for her ears and a few other things.   It was deemed a “routine” out-patient procedure that would be “easy”. Nothing about my daughter has ever been easy.  It is challenge that serves her well – now.   On that day I made a critical error.  I took my daughter to the hospital by myself. Why do we continue to deny ourselves the community and support of friends, no matter how routine the event in life?After several hours in recovery in the back and another few with me in the family area, we were deemed “ok to release”.  The problem was she had not stopped puking.  It only slowed to a “manageable pace”.  What is that anyway ?

I started the drive home with her crying in her car seat for me to hold her.  Epic parent fall. Nothing about this day felt routine to me.  About fifteen minutes in to the drive, I knew it was a horrible idea to come alone.  She started throwing up. Buckled in a five-point harness – it became dangerous.   We pulled off into a parking lot and there I sat.  Holding her, cleaning up, and both of us crying.  I sent out a mass text that was a combination of crazy and practical – but a freak out nonetheless.  I asked my friends to pray and bring jello.  I remember thinking, “if we could just get jello. “ The brain is a funny thing.  We just needed to get home.  I just needed to be in that comfort of home and I knew we would be ok.  The twenty minutes left seemed like days. I had not seen my phone until I got home.   As I pulled in the driveway, a friend was there.  Another had responded to one of my practical ask for jello- because I had bought it before surgery. We just had not made it! She brought a 100 kinds and filled my refrigerator.  Ok..it probably was only 3.  It just seemed such an overwhelmingly amazing thing at the time.

In order to get in the door, and get settled, my friend took my daughter. As we got into the house and rounded the corner to the kitchen, it happened.   She threw up ALL OVER my friend.  Not a baby spit-up kind of puke.  A head-spinning -exorcist-not missing anything kind of puke. It was ridiculous and horrifying and I am forever grateful.   There were days following that I am sure were filled with more stories of practical and loving kindness from my friends It is all a blur to this day – except for the puking.  It is one thing to have your own child puke on you.  What about your friend’s child? But that is just life.

She did not cease our friendship. She is still an amazing caring friend to this day.  In fact, she is just that friend…the one you can physically and emotionally puke on and she remains.  She holds nothing back. Yet is there for the hard conversation. For the tears. For the ugly cry. That friendship began long before the day in my kitchen. It was full of mornings over coffee, kid play dates, and girls nights out.   It was developed into the “one you can puke on” through a series of small, yet intentional moments.

Do you have a friend you can puke on? Are you that friend to someone?

Can you clean it up and move on?

We all need a friend to puke on. Follow me on Facebook & share your own friendship stories!