How coffee, cookies, and cleaning ruins you- a journey in the midst of failure

By day two I was already a complete failure. But let me back up a bit, and start at the beginning.

I saw on the Facebook that “Embrace the Crazy” was leading a 30-day challenge to change one habit. This is great! I thought with hubris. I can do this! Just one habit? YES!

Ok, now I choose. What habit can I build? Well, my house is messy enough that it falls on the spectrum somewhere between “squalor” and “hoarder.” Perhaps I can do just five minutes of cleaning a day, changing rooms every day. That’s reasonable. A mere nudge in the right direction.

Day one: I am a SUCCESS! I spent five minutes in my son’s room and made progress. In fact, I’m pretty sure the clouds parted and sun shone in that room and God gently patted me on the head. This will be a piece of…

Day two: cake. Where is there cake? I need some cake. Because it was a mere five minutes of my life and I couldn’t do it. I could not bring myself to clean.

Day three: no. I will not. I shall not. Not even for cake. Or birthday cake Oreos, and those should be a controlled substance.

Days four and five: no.

Day six: NEW PLAN. Clearly my desire to clean is about as strong as my desire to walk away from those Oreos (my husband was weirdly proud that our family of four went through a whole pack in 36 hours. I regret nothing). It’s not too late. I’m going to start… dusting? And insult the dust bunnies beneath the couch? Rude. Maybe I could start smoking and then stop for the challenge? That seems too pretentious. Oh! Duh! Water. I drink approximately 14oz of non-water over the course of one day, and that can’t be good for, well, any part of my body. I’m “told” by “experts” that man cannot live on coffee alone, but I’m team COFFEE FOR LIFE.

And yet: I’m 38 and far from a “young grasshopper,” thanks Master Miagi, and I’ve been having some acid reflux issues. Surely water can help with that?

Day seven: yes, it does. I’m not counting water like Ambitious Karla of 2005, with a chart or an app or a special water bottle with movable rings to indicate 8oz consumed. I’m just trying to drink a lot. So I fill a 32oz mason jar at the beginning of the day, try to keep drinking and refilling it, carry water in the car. And popping TUMS antacids like Jelly-Belly’s has decreased mightily.

Today marks halfway through the challenge. I stumbled a bit at the outset, but having a happier gut has compelled me to continue my second attempt at change. Sometimes, timing and wisdom about where you are and what you’re capable of is just as important as the actual changing of habits. Change is hard, but God knows how to direct us.

 

Author Karla Briggs- is a wife, mother, part-time believer that unicorns toot glitter, and a full time believer in the healing properties of naps for everyone. You can follow her journey on http://karladoesmotherhood.tumblr.com